Living in the future

I was browsing the web recently and stumbled upon the following quote from the ancient Chinese philosopher Laozi:

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. 
If you are anxious you are living in the future. 
If you are at peace you are living in the present."

Talk about a revelation; I've yet to see a more succinct description of anxiety.

My anxiety usually means me worrying deeply and using up way more mental energy than I want to on things that have simply not happened. It's kind of like my mind running away with itself down a long, narrow alleyway that leads to absolutely nowhere. I might snap myself out of it for a moment, almost laughing in mild disbelief for stressing over (more often than not) small things, but there I am down another alleyway soon after, in a mental trance, trying to get out and stay out.


One piece of advice for battling anxiety that I saw somewhere else online is "stick to the facts". I've repeated that line to myself plenty of times since, and it has provided an antidote to the chaos of anxiety. Stick to the facts: keep a clear, conscious perspective of what's happening to you right now; try to shrug off the anxious baggage that's desperate for your attention.

That's not to say "stick to the facts" always works as a mantra, but it's there to supply a jolt back to the present. And, although I can only speak for myself, more often than not it's helped.
 

A new blog

Hello. Over the past year I've come to realise that I suffer from some kind of anxiety disorder. I've not been to the doctor or anything like that (I'm pretty confident in my self-diagnosis). Instead, I've tried to grit my teeth and ride out the very real feelings of fear, panic and general nothingness when they've crept up on me.

So, in an attempt to articulate the swirling storm of worry, terror and emotional lethargy that batters about inside my head, I've decided to start this blog. I have no idea how long it will last because I can be a champion of listlessness, but my intention is to be honest and write about how I'm feeling and what I'm experiencing.

The first thing I need to be honest about is that I'm primarily doing this for myself. I'm a writer by trade, so I'll always have a streak of vanity that wants other people to see my handiwork, but ultimately this is a place where I can put down exactly what I'm thinking - and hopefully I can gain some catharsis from that.

Anyway, nice to meet you. On with the show.